A Fish Called Fuck

One of my least favourite students from my least favourtite class, today presented me with a golden opportunity so serve them up a big shit-sandwich. It was almost too good to be true - like a practical joke gone horribly wrong, leaving me with the question 'Just what were they trying to achieve?' unanswered. I was marking the student in question's weekly test, and I came to the last question I had set them 'Tell me about your pet! If you don't have one, use your '상상' (imagination). This girl's answer was as follows: 'My pet is a fish. Its name is fuck'.

I thought 'So, this is what my liberal teaching style gets me!'. If it had been a kid I liked, I would have considered letting it go with just a word in their ear from me. But, whereas all my classes seem to love me, this one has taken against me because I make them do work. They spend the entire time I teach them looking up obscenities on their dictionaries to label me with, often letting their expensive pieces of technology read out sentences in miniature Stephen Hawking robot voices such as 'Ben Teacher fuck you'. So no, I didn't let it pass me by. I delivered the test direct to my boss's door. Within 5 minutes he was on the phone to her mum. Later on, she was in his office for a meeting. HAAA!

Later in the day, after my dinner, I walked into class at 6:05pm and stood at my desk sorting the CD player out for the nest lesson. A violent student by the name of Phillip, walked up behind a girl named Daisy, drew his fist and punched her so hard on the back it was as though he was attempting to knock a hole straight through her. The deep thumping sound was horrendous. I didn't even think - I grabbed him by the the collar/neck, marched him to the door and literally threw him across the lobby/reception area of my school. This caused quite a stir amongst my co-teachers and director. When they came into my classroom, I informed them that he'd been beating girls, I wouldn't tolerate it and that he'd not be welcome back in my lesson for the rest of the day. Gasps were made but nothing more was said. I'm proud to have made my feelings known on the matter, and stood my ground. It's one aspect of the 'culture', or list of socially acceptable things, that I will not adapt to or keep quiet about. No hitting of girls in my lessons/line of vision/anywhere near me. Got it, lads?!

It was a fine day other than that though. I had my favourite feel-good class, and yet another one of my favourite classes who have taken to getting out of their seats and jumping onto my back from the table whenever they see an opportunity - this sometimes involves a one-metre leap through mid-air when I'm not looking. Always a surprise!

The blog below is also new, not from August as the misleading date above the title would suggest.