Seoraksan

I've been a silent bugger, haven't I? Reason being that I've been having far too much fun! One weekend recently we caught a night bus to a city called Sokcho on the East coast of Korea, not far from the border with North Korea. We arrived at around 2 in the morning and crashed out in an incredibly cheap motel next to the bus terminal. The lobby smelt like a burning corpse so a few of us had second thoughts. Frank and I shared a room for 5 pounds each but before bed we wandered to a nearby Family Mart and bought a can of beer. Back at the motel, we sat in our seedy little room and turned on the TV. There was some Korean porn on. It consisted of a man licking a girls bum cheek and the girl making noises that suggested it was the most pleasant sensation she'd ever felt and also slightly painful. Then, all of a sudden, they were having simulated sex and I said to Frank as a joke 'Time two minutes from now'. Two minutes later it was all over in the most hilarious Benny Hill style. The facial expressions were out of Nineteen Twenties German Weimar cinema (Thanks, European Modernism module in Fresher's year!), the man in particular pulling an excellent Nosferatu. It was the most terrible thing I've ever seen! Another highlight was seeing an advert which at first was very difficult to interpret, but after a while it seemed to infer that if you take these certain pills your stream of urine would be strong and powerful. It had a before and after video of a man in a public toilet. I picked up the phone and ordered a pack, and I can honestly say I've never been happier with my piss.

In the morning, we caught a bus to Seoraksan national park, famous for being the most beautiful national park in South Korea. It was incredible! It was the sunniest, hottest day in a long time. Just inside the park there was an enormous Buddha - seriously big, humongous in fact!



We followed the path to Ulsanbawi, a mountain, through mind-blowing scenery and stopped at a temple on the way. Halfway up there was a 16 tonne boulder that is famous throughout Korea because if you get enough people to help you can rock it to and fro. We just about managed it! The rest of the climb was really tough in 30+ degree heat. At the top there was a man selling expensive iced tea that bought and marvelled at how he climbs to the top with an enormous, full metal water vat everyday. He must make a killing! We took some amazing photos and Jon pulled a mooner when there weren't any Koreans looking. Later we took the Waterfall hike that led us up a river and at the top there was a natural swimming pool. It would have been great for canyoning. Unfortunately there were signs saying 'No Swimming', but that didn't stop us. If we'd turned back down and passed on the chance to swim we would have regretted it forever. In we went, and it was glorious.



That night we were on Sokcho beach - drinking, talking and letting off fireworks. Earlier we had been for dinner and sat outside a hof when our friend Amy attracted the attention of a 40 year old Korean man and his more elderly drinking partner. This love affair began with him buying us all a round of drinks and telling us his name was Manky, but we could call him Monkey (the round of drinks was about 8 pints and some Makoli - he REALLY wanted her). It escalated from humour into something altogether more annoying and lecherous. He was so unbelievably difficult to get rid of - it took such a long time! Later on the beach, Manky kept phoning Amy's phone off the hook and it took Jon to answer it for her and pretend to be her boyfriend. Jon was coming out with such fantastic one-liners, in a great foreign accent, as 'My name is Jeff. Amy is sick. She shit a lot. My dick is hard'. We were suitably in stitches.

On the coach back to Seoul the next day, I saw a travel version of Monopoly, but in Korean, and I translated it's title back to 'Hotel Win Game'. It's called that instead of Monopoly here. That made my day.

Enjoy the photos and there'll be another lot of bundled together words and photos up on this website soon - I've been informed by the owner of a Seoul website that my blog is very well known in Korea and asked to be a guest-columnist for said site. It has given me a buzz and the motivation to get back to writing regularly. Until then, the Korea Advisor is signing off.